Baby Bennett,

It. Is. Happening.

Today marked the first day of our injections on this journey. Per the doctor’s instruction, I had the lovely experience of giving myself two shots. These aren’t the typical shots I’m used to on a Friday night, but it sounds like the end result after one too many will be the same. We are talking headaches, moodiness, and becoming bloated. Yep, sounds pretty close to what I feel like the morning after a long night out.

Anyway, we don’t need to discuss your mother’s drinking habits. Back to the medication. SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! This will mean nothing to you now, but I think it is all worth documenting. Tonight, I had to take 300iu of Gonal-f and 75iu of Menpour. What do these two strange medicines do? Basically, they are helping me grow as many follicle as possible so I can produce as many eggs as possible so I can have as many babies as possible. Just kidding. The more eggs I have the more chances we have at a “you”!

After your Dad got home from work, we mixed up the medication just like we were taught and, then after wondering if we did it right, we shrugged and went for it. Now your Dad offered to administer the shots, but I told him I have this one. I think he was kind of relieved, but I know that if I really would have asked him to, he would have gladly stabbed me. Years of payback for everything I’ve put him through would have surfaced and he might actually have enjoyed it a little too much.

Never the less, he cheered me on the whole time. Stood next to me waiting for either me to pass out or turn into some sort of scientific experiment, of which I did neither. Gonal-f went in without an issue. I did it. I ruled the world. Now for the Menopur. This one wasn’t as kind. It burned. And kept burning. But I told myself to suck it up. It was Day 1. I couldn’t start the complaining now. I needed to save that for Day 6 when I really wanted dessert and could request Dad to go grab some so I could be lazy on the couch watching “My 600-lb Life”.

Your Aunt Mia (who lives with us) cheered me on as well. We had a nice little team huddle. It felt good to have a cheering squad right in my own kitchen. After we cleaned up the battle zone, your Dad took me to a movie to get out of the house. My stomach was already feeling tender and the Menopur still burned. And you know what, I almost let that ruin my night. I just started thinking about this was already a hard thing to do and now I have to deal with crazy side effects on top of painful injections. I was snippy with your Dad, and just wanted to crawl back into bed. But then I thought about you and how by this next time year, I’m hoping that a date night with your Dad comes a little less often. Not because I don’t want to be alone with him, but because we would have a third Bennett to keep watch after and getting away won’t be so easy.

This process isn’t going to be a walk in the park. Actually, nothing about infertility is. But it is important to remember why we are doing this. It’s for you. All of this is for you. I hope when you are old enough to understand, this will help you never doubt if you are loved or what you are capable of. You come from two people who would do anything to have a chance to meet you. And we will never stop.

Well, it’s getting late and I’ve been told to enjoy my sleep now so I better abide by that and put myself to bed. And your Dad is asking questions. “What are you doing? Are you talking about me? Can I read?” I need to start talking about politics so he gets off my case.

Xoxo,

Mama